My girlfriend sometimes asks me why I don’t do the cute little things that I did when we first started dated anymore. I tell her for the same reason I don’t continue to give my resume to my boss.

Coulrophobia is the clinical name for the fear of clowns. Apparently, hundreds of thousands of people suffer from this affliction. On the other hand, there is no name given to the fear of hydraulic presses nor are there any documented cases of such a disease. A hydraulic press could literally crush a human being into a one foot cube, clowns entertain by juggling. Go figure.