I have an idea that will revolutionize high school track and field. Instead of busing an entire team of student athletes to the other team’s school to compete, why not send a referee to each school. The teams then run their events on their own track. Then the judges will call each other, compare the times and decide who wins.

I know what you’re thinking, “that’s not very interesting for the spectators.” I thought of that too. In an effort to keep the crowd entertained, there will be a guy who makes balloon animals mingling through the stands.

I recently found Jesus. To be exact, I found a plastic Jesus lying in the dirt outside of a diner named “Lou’s” in Narberth, Pennsylvania. I’d like to return him to his rightful owner, drop me a line if your dashboard is missing its King of Kings.