Dear Womankind,

I would just like to say that, contrary to media propaganda, you don’t have to be skinny to be sexy. In fact, a bird with a few healthy curves looks far more fertile. Isn’t that the reason we subconsciously pair ourselves up in the first place?

Stop starving yourselves. You are perpetuating an unrealistic, unhealthy, inaccurate image of physical perfection AND putting farmers out of work.

Some men may disagree but to them I pose this question, “Which do you find more attractive, an adult female or an adolescent boy?” I chose the former.

Ghosts seldom haunt cars. Fishy.