How can paper possibly beat rock? Honestly.

Current me has a great resentment towards past me, but an utter disregard for future me.

Having pride in one’s own race is like having pride in one’s blood type, ring size or social security number.

I dare say that no one has ever made a significant contribution to society by choosing the best out of four possible answers.

I’ve become so reliant on my cellular phone’s address book, the only phone number I still have committed to memory is Jenny’s.

Legitimate scientists and doctors don’t wear lab-coats on TV, liars trying to sell you something do.

Wood-grain only looks good on wood.

s 2006 comes to a close, I offer the following three nuggets of pseudo-wisdom: All creativity is creative problem solving, there’s no such thing as useless knowledge and it’s near impossible to tickle your way out of getting a ticket.

Anyone who buys a bookmark or a paper weight lacks ingenuity.

Somewhere, there’s a machine that applies random tears and faux oil stains to “broken-in” jeans. This machine would be near impossible to explain to a time traveler from the past. It’s probably best if we just don’t even show it to them.