Ink and Oil Pastel on Cardboard • 12″x18″ • Private Collection

A representative of a series that I created especially for a buddy’s hair salon. They were supposed to resemble those silly hair style photographs that sometimes hang in abundance on salon walls.

Moments ago, I saw a news broadcast about a car accident that occurred early this morning. Apparently, a woman lost control of her car and plowed in to a large, plastic nativity scene nestled on someone’s front lawn. The broadcast included live footage of people attempting to reassemble the scene, as well as interviews with devastated passerbys.

While there was no mention of the condition of the driver and/or passengers of the car, the broadcaster reported, “Luckily, the family had not yet placed the baby Jesus into the manger.”

It truly is a Christmas miracle.

If the word “faux” precedes something, it’s ugly. Don’t argue with me.

Acrylic • Private Residence

I popped over a pal’s newly purchased house one evening. A few hours, a quart of paint and two foam brushes later, the lower level was transformed into a pop art mecca.

I suspect that other land mammals tried to evolve into ocean dwellers like the dolphins and whales did. They just couldn’t get past the initial pruniness.

Acrylic on Paper • Shampoo Night Club

In the Fall of 2002, I was invited to perform at a Philadelphia nightclub called Shampoo. The club holds semiannual “mega events” in which they fill an outdoor tent full of DJs, booze, costumed dancers and assorted entertainment. I fell into the assorted entertainment category.

A realistic painter is the artistic equivalent of a cover band.

This has been plaguing me. From K-mart to Calvin Klein, any clothing store that sells men’s apparel offers two styles of T-shirts, the crew neck and the pocket T. The shirts are exactly the same except for the presence of the small chest pocket but the pocket T is ALWAYS a couple of bucks cheaper than the crew neck!

All things being equal, the pocket T must cost more to manufacture. There’s a bit of extra material and they have to pass them through the giant pocket-sewing-on machine. Don’t give me any crap about supply and demand either. Sure, I know that the crew neck is way more popular but why don’t they just make less pocket Ts if nobody likes them? This phenomenon has existed since the 70’s, they’ve surely had enough time to adjust production.

Here’s a way to test the character of a fellow human being:

Tell a joke to a group of comrades in the person’s presence. Make sure that the human being in question already knows the punchline. If the person blurts out the punchline and steals your thunder, he or she is a selfish jerk. If the person says, “I know this one” but allows you to continue, he or she is average. If the person says nothing, he or she is a gem. Finally, if the person says nothing until you deliver the punchline, at which time they laugh as if they never heard it, you are in the presence of a Saint.

This test’s margin of error greatly increases if the person has Alzheimer’s disease.

Acrylic on Butcher Paper • Old City, Philadelphia

A series of subway-sized, original paintings I used to paper an urban construction site. These paintings disappeared within a few minutes of hanging.