If you ever lose or ruin something at a store that has a sign reading, “Not Responsible for Lost or Damaged Articles” try the following:

Go home, take a marker and write, “Not Responsible for Things that I Damage in a Store” on a T-shirt. Put it on, go back to the store and break everything you can get your hands on. It won’t get your stuff back but it will make you feel better.

Acrylic on Plywood • 48″x30″ • Private Collection

Quickly establishing herself as the anti-Mona Lisa, it seems as though Lydia isn’t looking at you no matter where you stand.

Acrylic on Plywood • 48″x30″ • Donated to Charity

This painting was auctioned during a fundraising event benefiting an organization titled SCAN (Stop Child Abuse Now).

Acrylic on Cardboard • Private Collection

A representatives of the very first series of paintings that I created using the almighty foam brush.

Acrylic • Welsh Valley Middle School

I created this mural one morning on a long segment of wall high above my classroom. My students thought it was downright scandalous that I was painting on the wall without permission. “Aren’t you afraid you’re going to get fired?” they’d ask. “No,” I’d answer. So far, so good.

Don’t be friends with people who don’t use their turn signal, they are selfish and lazy.

Throughout history, almost EVERYTHING has come in and out of style except for reeking of urine. No matter the time, no matter the place, no matter the culture, reeking of urine is consistently a fashion no no.

I think it’s absolutely adorable when youngsters write letters to Santa Claus during the Christmas season. They thoughtfully comprise a wish list of all of the wonderful things that they want and try to convince St. Nick that they deserve the items due to their good behavior.

Of course, you and I know that Santa Claus is a fictional character and that the letters addressed to him are doomed to a short life in postal limbo where they are ultimately discarded. But that doesn’t stop thousands of kids from writing to him every year … it’s truly precious how innocent and naive children can be.

Now excuse me, I have to go pray.

Aren’t we all supposed to have robots by now?

Jim McCaffrey • Main Line Life Newspaper • December, 2001

Todd Marrone is a quick draw artist. He may be the best known unknown artist on the Main Line.

Thousands of people have likely seen his work — he hangs it on telephone poles, leaves it in train stations and puts stacks out in stores. Recently some were set out like lawn signs with each piece signed boldly “Vote Todd.” Marrone is currently creating line drawings – 40 to 50 of them at a sitting – by squirting black acrylic paint from a glue bottle. Read the rest of this entry »