I can’t believe the election results. I wish global warming would hurry up and improve Canada’s climate.

My impression of one ant giving another ant directions in an ant farm: “Follow this tunnel straight ahead, then make your second down. When that tunnel comes to an end, take an up.”

Acrylic • Dobson Elementary School

Philadelphia Cares, a local charity organization conducts an annual “Day of Service” in which volunteers clean, repair and beautify city schools. This fifty-foot mural was my 2004 contribution.

Shouldn’t flags outside of funeral parlors always be at half mast?

Acrylic on Canvas • 40″x30″ • Private Collection

A few in a series of paintings created specifically to adorn the walls of a posh, Philadelphia eatery.

Here’s a conspiracy theory for you: Stevie Wonder, Elton John and Eric Clapton died in a bizarre submarine accident in 1981. Their respective record labels, concerned about losing such lucrative recording stars, built robotic replacements. The androids were (and are) identical to their organic counterparts in every way except one. Their music is WAY crappier.

Somebody’s mamma once said, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Consequently, I’m not going to post any remarks about our current commander and chief, George W. Bush.

I will, however, share the following list of people that I’d rather have occupying the oval office: Al Gore, John Kerry, Jim Carey, Dorothy “Tootie” Ramsey, the recently deceased Ronald Reagan, Illusionist David Blane, Disneyland’s robotic Abraham Lincoln, Margot Kidder, Crackle (of Snap, Crackle & Pop), the guy who ate a bunch of worms to get into the Guinness Book of World Records and John Oates.

Feel free to tell me what you do for a living. If there isn’t an obvious uniform associated with the position, however, I’ll most likely have to pretend that I understand your job.

Astronaut, cowboy, firefighter, police officer? I follow you. Regulatory affairs associate? You lost me.

Ryan Johnston, Lori Rogers & Myself

My colleagues and I attending Welsh Valley Middle School’s 2004 Arts Festival.

I have a ventriloquist dummy with lock jaw. He doesn’t say much but he can hum like an angel.